Continuing the new theme...
2. She appreciates my role as momentum-provider during conversations and events.
It takes energy to keep activities and conversations from stalling, especially at the end of the day when both spouses are tired.
Somebody needs to suggest what to do when nothing is happening, have ideas or preferences prepared, and maintain a storehouse of interesting topics of conversation for during walks or soaks in the spa.
Somebody needs to enliven conversations with silly jokes and defuse tense situations with witty agree-and-exaggerate statements.
Somebody needs to push for setting aside time to exercise together, especially if one spouse only goes for walks or does strength training if the other is with them.
Somebody needs to be the first to set aside the laptop when we both crash after the boys are asleep.
It is a lot of mental work to be lively yet relaxing, playful yet clear, and prepared yet flexible.
My work day with the boys is much more physically exhausting than my wife's work day behind a computer and at meetings. Yet she is the one who gets more mentally fatigued each work day she has to make difficult choices and carefully word things to avoid offending people.
So it becomes my job at the end of the day to do that mental work at home and be the provider of momentum. My wife realizes and appreciates this. I suspect that if she took it for granted I would quickly find that the responsibility felt like a burden rather than a happy act of agape.
Again I ask for brainstorming help: in what other ways does someone need to be the momentum-provider?