13. She encourages my role as head of the family and leader in religious practices and teaching.
What does it mean to be head of the family?
I already wrote about how we show respect to each other. I am not respected more. But I do have some leadership roles my wife does not.
First, I provide for the household (I already wrote about providing momentum within a conversations and events). One big aspect of this role is monitoring and supporting both of our to-do lists. As each weekend approaches, my wife and I sit down and discuss what needs to be accomplished that weekend and how to fit this around our out-of-the-house plans. If we make these plans badly it is my fault. If the weekend could have been more successful if we were a little more energetic that is also my fault.
Second, I accept and am given responsibility for household. Because I am the momentum-provider even for the items on my wife's to-do list a small amount of blame or credit for how things go. Part of her career success is due to my efforts to ensure she gets enough sleep. Part of how our house needs some dusting is my fault even though this is one of the chore she does.
Third, when my wife and I must do something together but have different ways of doing things, we do it my way. This only happens for things we rarely do (such as packing for vacations) since we work out a blended way of how to do anything that happens frequently.
Lastly, in those very rare cases when we do not agree about what to do (such as I joked about here) I get to pick who gives in. I cannot remember what our second argument was about, except that it happened in our kitchen in Eugene. So I am not sure whether I always pick that I give in, or we each have had to give in once.
I did not write about being leader in religious practices and teaching for the family, since that is more commonly understood.